WELLI'M IN PHILLY AND I SEE JON MINER AND HE'S ON THE BAKER TOUR for a filmer for Emerica, and I ask whether he needs to go skate and shoot a few pictures. 1 thing leads to another and Andrew Reynolds is like,"You ought to come on the entire tour" Damn, this really is a fracture! I initially thought it strange that there wasn't any photographer already, but realized about five minutes to the trip why nobody in their right mind would need to go to a Baker trip. But I am not just a derelict. In addition, I consider myself something of a photo journalist. This could be like visiting Beirut, the West Bank, or Skatopia. It was amusing when they asked me . I heard myself answer"I do not understand, I am supposed to do a post about the X-Games." 'Oh my god!' I believed. 'Can I actually say that?' How To Get Better At Skateboarding!


Watch, contrary to popular view, I visit the Baker team since a number of the most bizarre and rawest skaters about; the complete antithesis of this corporate X-Games.

I can hear right now the whiners about the message boards:"Oh, they are destroying skateboarding, they are glam punks, they are all picture, they are telling children to use leather and do drugs and believe that touching the floor after landing a hint is fine."

But that is sour grapes and you know it. Baker is exactly what skating has ever beenoutlaws, anti-establishment, a kick in the pants. It is essentially ancient World Industries, or you from the series of terrible boy clubs who have been around. It is only they are possibly among the most well-known groups in skateboarding, which leaves everyone else feeling alienated and resentful.

I had been planning to pontificate wildly about the phenomenology of Baker. But that is not my war.

The excursion was my warfare. My dread. No sleeping--or if for a single moment, with one eye open. Non-stop chaos and nonstop pleasure. A travel party that never stopped. The initial one asleep obtained tortured and the previous up one got kicked.


The first incident of note was Terry Kennedy becoming assaulted at Love Park. Terry had left some unfortunate announcement about"Fucking ledges," a remark that Stevie Williams took . NowI understand that when Stevie had beef with me personally, the last place in the world I'd ever appear is Love Park, however, Terry has a head which works in odd ways. I just discovered the story from Terry (which makes more adorned with each notification ), but I suppose that he was Love skating and those thugged-out dudes (Terry's description) come hurrying (the variety of thugged-out dudes too improved with each notification ). He hides at the van below the chair and these men are pounding on the door prepared to kill him. Terry is currently in there like"Fuck that, I ai not goin' out there." After awhile the men wind up leaving, so for some reason Terry goes bock into Love. Kalis faces him and gives him a small lecture and escorts him up the road to Stevie. Terry and Stevie figure out how to smooth it out, but if Stevie hears these other gram uys chased him about, he gets pissed and leaves them sit down and gives a directly reprimand. Terry's conversation with Stevie left him an honorary Appreciate neighborhood, using a key to the city and what. So for the next 3 days that is all Terry can chat about. "I am one of these!" He'd exclaim.


So Terry is the very bothersome, unappreciative skater I've ever met in my whole life. I really don't mind saying this, because what 15-year-old skater is not bothersome and unappreciative? I know I was. However, this man takes the cake. He will find all pissed at Andrew:"You are likely to flip Bryan expert, then Evan expert, subsequently Knox, then me. I can not wait that long. I am gonna return to selling crack in my hood" Bu it is Terry's hyper character that also provides him his own charm. I must know Terry and the Baker kids well, since I have suckered into getting the"Captain of this Kid Car." I'd Terry (who sat shotgun), Evan Hernandez, and Knox Godoy. This is a nightmare. Evan and Knox are extremely tender. Knox is really much cooler than he appears from the Baker video. However, Knox for some reason never bothered to learn my name; he simply called me"Thrasha nigga." And he imputed to each of nouns as"Shits." This is an example of a Genuine dialogue between Knox and me:

"Yo, Thrasha nigga, you have one of these mullet shits?!"

"Yeah, I enjoy it"

"What? You truly want one of these shits!?"



Extended drives were stressing out the kids. Knox kept saying"I despise these trees! Driving sucks! Why could not we fly involving demos?" A the only songs we can listen to were tunes from skate movies and top-40 rap. They played the very same tunes repeatedly.

Shortly, such as Lord of the Flies, they started to turn on each other. Terry and Knox got pissed at Evan and so were ganging up on him. Evan was bummed I thought that he would cry. I told Andrew about it in death, so that nighttime Erik drunkenly cries,"Patrick, Do not let people gang up on every other person!"

So today my duties have grown. On the upcoming long driveway Terry puts his chair back all of the way into Evan, and Knox gets his horrible socks in his head. And I am driving down the street crying"Evan! Stick up for yourself" "Terry, stop being such an asshole!" I am enjoy their fucking babysitter. That night, in certain lapse of sense, I wind up in an area with Terry, Evan, Knox, Trainwreck, and Shane Heyl, essentially the worst team in the world to share a space with if you intend on sleeping. They had the TV on full-blast but nobody had been watching it. Trainwreck and Shane were conspiring about exactly what business moves they were planning to make following --that I really could care less about, however, they threatened that when I place it in Thrasher they would kick my ass. At three in the afternoon the children were making runs into the vending machines drinking coke and eating candies like it had been a illegal drug. I attempted to switch off the TV and Knox says"Yo, why is that Thrasha nigga cutting shit outside!?"

I shut my eyes simply to grab Trainwreck putting shaving cream on me. Eventually I had been over it and proceeded to get another room. I knocked on a door, just to possess Beagle state"Sorry, this area's complete." I begged himI would have slept in the bathtub. You see, even on Baker tours, they get three rooms for 15 people. I guess they handle their cash poorly or spend all of it on marijuana and booze, since they look like the brokest group . I attempted to fall asleep in certain tiny empty place, but can hear them laughing and crying through the walls. I understood they had been messing with my luggage. I got up, went there, and sure enough they had been. My bag was full of popcorn and shaving lotion, also in shaving cream on the carpeting it stated"Fuck Pat."

Now, I have made those children seem like whiny brats, but you knew that anyway. The experts and entourage were precisely the reverse. They slept in overcrowded rooms at the ghettoest motels. They wrapped in an overcrowded van. Ate the cheapest meals, drank the lowest beer, wore the rattiest, dirtiest fabrics. This was no style statement; those men are only raw dirts.


Erik was crying"I will provide you $3,000 to kick my butt! Who would like to go! At the moment! $3,000!!" Nobody took him. Afterwards he'd Bryan Herman at a headlock at the hallway. This was about 2:00 am. The resort manager appear to shout but was only freaked out with this long-haired dirt butting just a tiny 15-year-old's head to the wall. The supervisor is saying"Another criticism, I call the cops!" Erik yelled back complete gibberish together with his finger pointed out threateningly;"Next time? There is not another time! 'Cause second time is the initial time!"


Knox made me swear to not put any pictures of him in the magazine. He said he'd get grounded. Knox does not drink, but onto a Baker tour it is difficult to write any photo with no beer cans throughout the framework. I believe by putting shaving cream and popcorn in my purse together with other constant torture, then his rights to anonymity are forgone. Steve Godoy's gonna fuck up you!


Andrew is your Team Captain. He pays for the entire thing. He is a real nice, sincere man and I love himhe's got a great head on his shoulders and that he looks out for his group. In addition to that there were plenty of team on tour--men not really on the group, only there for celebration value I suppose. And Andrew thankfully paid all their bills. Just like when Shane smashed up the space, Andrew paid. It was a morning that the resort manager would shout at Andrew,"Is this the way you live at house?!" Andrew would only be like,"I reside worse in the home." He would pay this, and we would be back to the street.

Andrew also attracted members of his very own family. You might not consider me, however, his son Bryan Herman came. In addition, he includes three sisters --Buzzkill, Chicksalt, and Copmagnet. These men were mad. They are not really into skating so typically they'd hang back throughout the demos, but occasionally in the day they'd arrive at full force.

1 night at the resort Buzzkill began scratching Trainwreck so awful he drew blood. Wreck does not take kindly to this type of behaviour so that he beat the crap out of him at a crowded elevator filled with tourists. Picture the scene: 2 shirtless drunk-asses fighting at a crowded elevator. The doors could not open fast enough. Buzzkill was yelling from the lobby"IF CREW'S LIKE THAT, I AIN'T DOWN FOR CREW!" Over and above. We went into a pub and Copmagnet was able to get intimidated by a few bar skater/betty. She had been stuffing him into a taxi, and I conducted over crying"Where are you going?" She pushed me off. "Leave him alone, he needs his sleep!" Yeah, who understand exactly what this chick had in mind . I thought to myself,'I might never see him '

OUTTA HERE. Alienation vacation: Japan with skateboarding

At one presentation of yelling ballistic kids I dropped my camera and broke it. So I had been done. Left was a wake of trashed hotel rooms, crushed cans, cigarette burns, and highways. Thousands of yelling Baker lovers, tantrums, and brokenhearted women. Along with you also, the haters.

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